hashem hungering to love me

even in a space

where i was in closet-clothes

for the first time in many, many months

the shine from my face

(the length of my hair?)

[the reflection of my soul?]

had people sometimes-calling me

"miss", and "m'am"

this weekend with my grandparents


i felt in those moments

the overwhelming euphoria

of unexpected blessing

the kind of blessing that sprints after you

like a hungry thing

eager to catch, and wrap you in love

i felt in those moments hashem *hungering* to love me

i felt her hearing my cry from the narrows

and answering me

in the big wide open

i saw with my very eyes

our gay god unleash a ratpack of blessing

to stalk the earth around me

hungry to find me, to see me

beautifully, and truly, and deep

hungry to make themselves known

to catch me,

but really just to wrap me,

in their thirsted-for, breathless-chase love

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