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change like it's love

Updated: Apr 9, 2021

change like it's love


there is no permanence easy to lean into

i talked to my best friend yesterday

about how it feels to love

to trust

that it's like leaning back into a body you know is going to be there

into a pair of arms you know will catch you


but there is no knowledge permanent in its knowing

everything in this world is change

even

the surest pair of arms

belongs to a body

which belongs to a soul

that will one day, transition beyond

and the one thing that *is* Permanent

is also Unknowable

and Her name can't even be pronounced


and She has not given us an easy permanence

She has only given us Change

a Change so constant it's almost Permanent

but so radical it's impossible to name

so constant in its changing it can even change to constance

but before you can esconce it it's already begun to fade


She has not given us an easy permanence

this eternally overturning God

She has only given us Change

we can't be sure of anything except that anything can happen

we can trust that our Creator

will make Herself known in such a way


we can be sure that if we sit, and wait, the unimaginable will happen

we can watch oceans turn to deserts

the meek balloon to mighty

the impossible flip inevitable

the sunset surrender to the stars


time will keep on going

until it doesn't

but what it brings


we can only learn through

the submission

that we will never fully know


which is

quite an uneasy permanence

that She has given us to lean into


and yet in Her own way

this is love

and this is trust

and these are arms


the cycles of the sun

the rotations of the earth


things that do, change but just, so slowly

that it's imperceptible over the span of a life

so to us, to Her children it appears they never change at all


and we can count on them

decorate them

build a calendar

or a day

a base, unstable in the long arc, but from which, in our short lives, we could learn to grow

into the impermanence

that is the constant

She has given us


into the change

which we lean back into

like it's love


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©2019 Binya Kóatz
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